In Marketing, Sometimes It’s Better Not to Say You’re Sorry

And that’s not to say you can’t be kind either. However, as a marketing strategist and copywriter, I see a lot of business owners acting as if charging good money for the value they offer is something to apologize for, and it’s not helping anyone.

We all do it. When we’re writing copy or giving a presentation or speaking with prospects, we spend a disproportionate amount of time prefacing and prepping our message. We anticipate disaster–or at minimum rejection, which can feel like disaster–so we dilute our content as if to soften the impending blow (to ourselves or to the poor soul who otherwise would have never seen our offer coming).

I suspect this Culture of Sorry is a predominantly Baby Boomer/Generation X phenomenon. We’ve all been getting quite in one another’s way for a very long time now, competing fiercely for everything from crappy part time jobs to put us through school to impossibly crappier corporate jobs to hopefully not-so-crappy contracts as business owners.

And while I believe there is more than enough of the green stuff to go around for all of us, I think we’re all starting to get a little too self-conscious about our endeavor to make more of it. We’re like adolescents at a high school dance all staring at one another wondering who’s going to get up the nerve to step away from the cinder block and really… bust a move (ahem).

An unfortunate side effect of this self-consciousness is that now, in addition to drowning in a sea of trite sorries, we’re apologizing for our cohorts, as if to say, “Hey, I’m not like those other guys who pretend they’re sorry for taking your money when they’re clearly not. So I want you to know that I am different. And I really AM sorry about what those sorry people are doing to you. Come talk to me and see how sorry I am. Then, if you believe that, maybe you could ME your money instead.”

It might go without saying that this neo-humility is especially common amongst us women folk, though I suspect many men suffer the sorry syndrome too, especially the quieter ones who’ve escaped the cultural stereotype that says aggression is what wins in business.

To be clear, I’m not endorsing cut-throat marketing tactics. I’m endorsing a straightforward approach. Full transparency, but with conviction, not apology. When you believe in the value of what you’re offering, you sidestep the suffocating discussion about political correctness, you save everyone a lot of time and guesswork, and you get to create results quickly for the people who want them most.

Say sorry when the moment warrants an authentic apology. Please don’t apologize for something you’re not truly sorry for, you shouldn’t be sorry for, or you can’t be sorry for (because someone else did it). Ditch the sorta-sorries too. It might sound charming, but it’s not heart-centered, and it doesn’t add value for anyone. Let your deep-down, right-now message do the talking. It’s all the kindness your audience will ever need.